Wedding Vows: 5 things to keep in mind
The legal bit with your marriage celebrant.
First up, there’s the legal minimum vows, where you each take the other to be your ‘lawfully wedded’:
“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, Sarah Jayne Smith, take you, John Michael Jones, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
That’s the easy part, there’s nothing to write or memorise and it’ll be broken up into short lines for you to ‘repeat after me’ with your celebrant. You can’t really stuff it up, and if you do, it’ll be funny, even for you (I promise).
You don’t have to write your own wedding vows, but…
There’s a reason couples are always happy they took the time to write their own vows, and it’s rarely their passion for public speaking. It’s the process of reminding yourself of everything you love about who you’re gonna marry. It’s not necessarily the easiest task, but it’s one you’re not going to regret.
The hardest part of your wedding ceremony is the most rewarding.
Writing vows can be difficult, but saying them aloud in front of your friends and family is obviously the scary part - and that’s what makes it the most rewarding! Speaking from the bottom of your heart about your favourite person in front of everyone who matters most is something you’ll only get to do once, and it’ll become one of your most vivd and meaningful memories. You’re already making the biggest decision of your life when you decide to get married - why not make it the most amazing and significant moment it can be?
Talk about your wedding vows, but don’t ruin the surprise!
You’ll obviously be discussing pretty much every aspect of your wedding together as the day approaches, and your vows are no exception - so have conversations about your relationship, what you love about each other, and why you’re so excited to be getting married! But my recommendation is to write them separately and make sure that moment at the altar is the first time they hear those words - the look on their face will make it worth the wait.
Seek help from your celebrant.
In addition to the conversations around your vows you may have with your fiancee and your friends and family, your celebrant should be available to provide feedback and suggested edits on your vows, and provide guidance on where to begin, how to flesh them out, and how to finish your vows. If you’re not sure, ask!
