4 of the Questions I'll Ask as Your Wedding Celebrant (and why I ask them)

One of the most important skills a marriage celebrant needs is the ability to get to know their couples as well as they possibly can in the short time they'll spend together. So how do we make that happen? Well in case it wasn't already obvious, it's by asking the right questions. Here's a few of the questions I ask couples as a wedding celebrant, and why I think it's important to ask them.

Tell me about any moments you've shared that made you feel like you'd found 'the one.'

Spoiler alert: most couples don't actually have these moments! But in my time as a marriage celebrant, I've found the 'non-answers' to this questions as enlightening as any. The realisation that it wasn't any specific moment, but a feeling, an understanding, that took shape early and has grown over the years, is a great reminder of why you know you want to spend your life with someone. But hey, when someone has a story about a 'lightbulb moment' where they realised they were definitely onto something, that never makes my job harder as a marriage celebrant!

What did you first notice about each other?

Half the time, people can't even remember! And even when they can, it's usually something so trivial that it makes for a funny story unto itself. Sometimes it's something classic like their eyes, the way they walk, or how funny they were. But sometimes it's just "he was wearing this stupid hat. He still has the hat." My job as a wedding celebrant is to tell stories that take the memories of your relationship and turn them into stories that take your guests into your world, so whether it was their bright blue eyes or their stupid hat, there's never a wrong answer.

What do you share in common?

People often think this just means hobbies, interests, etc, but my years as a marriage celebrant have taught me there's more to it than that. It's more common than not to not even share any particular hobbies or activities with your loved one, so if you don't, that's a clue as to what's at work for you guys on a deeper level. Think personality traits, how you relate to the world around you, what makes you laugh, and even the things in life that really grind your gears. You might think you're 'total opposites', but if you scratch beneath the surface, you'll probably find that's not quite the case!

What are your most and least favourite things about each other?

This is the last question I ask as a wedding celebrant because it's always what yields the funniest answers. The little things that annoy us about our loved ones are usually the source of a lot of fun shared moments, whether it's just having a laugh at each other, or finding ridiculous workarounds to the things the other does, the answers to these questions always find their way into the scripts I write as a marriage celebrant.

These aren't the only questions I ask - there's many more! But it's not about there being good or bad, or right or wrong answers, just opportunities to get a feel for what makes you guys tick.